How to use Vaginal Dilators

Vaginal changes, such as dryness, tightness, or discomfort with penetration can happen at different stages of life. Hormonal shifts (including menopause), stress, pelvic floor tension, certain medical treatments, or long gaps without penetration can all affect how the vagina feels and responds.

Vaginal dilator therapy is a gentle, intentional practice that can help restore comfort, flexibility, and confidence, whether for pelvic exams, partnered intimacy, solo exploration, or simply feeling more at ease in your body.

What Is a Vaginal Dilator?

A Vaginal Dilator is a smooth, tube-shaped device designed to be inserted into the vagina to gently stretch and relax the vaginal muscles over time.

Dilators usually come in sets of graduated sizes, starting small (about the width of a finger) and gradually increasing in size. This allows you to move at your own pace and listen to your body. Some dilators include a handle or base for easier grip and control.

It’s advised to begin with the smallest size and only move up when your body feels ready. There’s no rush, and no “right” timeline.

Material matters:

Firm dilators (often made from medical-grade plastic or acrylic) provide steady pressure that helps the vaginal muscles learn to relax. Softer silicone dilators may feel more comfortable for some users, especially at the beginning. Choose what feels safest and most supportive for you.

Why Use Vaginal Dilator Therapy?

Regular dilator use can support vaginal health by helping to:

• Maintain or improve vaginal elasticity and comfort
• Reduce discomfort with penetration (medical or sexual)
• Build confidence and body awareness
• Encourage relaxation of the pelvic floor muscles
• Support a more positive, connected relationship with your body

Many people use dilators as part of a self-care or sexual wellness routine, not just for medical reasons.

Preparing for Your Session

Choose a quiet, private space where you feel relaxed and unhurried.

Before you begin:

• Take a few slow, deep breaths
• Let your shoulders, jaw, and belly soften
• Gently relax your pelvic floor (the muscles you’d use to stop urine flow)

You may find it helpful to lie on your back with your knees bent and feet supported, or any position where you feel comfortable and in control.

A mirror can help you get familiar with your body, especially if you’re new to dilator use.

How to Use a Vaginal Dilator

A full session usually takes 10–15 minutes and should never feel painful.

Step-by-step:

1. Start small
   Choose the smallest dilator in your set. It should feel snug but not uncomfortable.
2. Use plenty of lubricant
   Apply a generous amount of water-based lubricant to both the dilator and your vaginal opening.
   • Avoid petroleum jelly
   • Avoid oil or silicone-based lubricants unless your dilator is compatible
3. Insert slowly and gently
   • Guide the rounded end into the vagina
   • Aim slightly downward or toward your lower back, similar to inserting a tampon
   • Move slowly, using gentle pressure only
4. Pause at the first sign of tension
   When you feel resistance or mild stretching, stop and breathe.
   Never force insertion. Discomfort means pause, not push.
5. Relax and breathe
   Try slow belly breaths or gentle pelvic floor relaxation. As your muscles soften, you may be able to insert the dilator slightly further.
6. Gentle movement
   Once inserted:

1. • Slowly move the dilator in and out to support vaginal length
   • Gently rotate it in small circles to support width
   • Add more lubricant if needed

7. Take your time
   Stay present with your body. Sensations should feel like stretching or pressure, not pain.
8. Remove slowly
   When finished, gently slide the dilator out.

Aftercare

• Wash your dilator with warm water and mild soap
• Dry thoroughly and store in a clean, dry place

If you’re prone to urinary tract infections, urinating after use may help.

Increasing Dilator Size

Move to the next size only when you can comfortably insert the current one fully and without discomfort.

Progress can look like:

• Using a larger size near the vaginal opening
• Using a smaller size deeper inside
• Staying on one size for weeks or months

How Often to Use a Dilator

Most people find that 3–4 sessions per week works well.
Avoid using dilators on consecutive days if you feel sore or irritated.

Consistency matters more than speed. If you miss sessions, simply return when you’re ready.

Supporting Vaginal Moisture

Vaginal moisturisers can be a helpful addition, especially if you experience dryness.

They can be used:

• Inside the vagina
• Around the vaginal opening
• On the vulva, inner labia, and clitoris

For best results, apply moisturisers before bed and not immediately before dilator use, so they can fully absorb.